(Me - Male Vocals, calm and reasonable)
Hey Jamie, can we talk about Trisha for a sec?
I saw her by the jukebox, she was lookin' like a wreck
You've got a real chance here, if you'd just play it cool
But you're pacing back and forth, lookin' like a total fool-
(Jamie - Female Vocals, instantly aggressive)
A fool? Did you just call me a fool? What's that supposed to mean?
You think I can't see her? Laughing with that guy in green!
She's probably telling him I'm some kind of freakish sight!
I swear I'm gonna go over there and start a fu-
(Chorus)
(Me) Jamie, wait! That's not what I was trying to sa-
(Jamie - shouting over me) I don't need your help! I don't need your advice today!
Everyone is staring, whispering my name in fright!
I'm not paranoid, you're just a stupid son-of-a-bi-
(Me) WHOA! Jamie, listen! You're just getting in your head!
(Jamie) Shut your mouth! Or you'll be wishing you were dead!
You think it's easy? Walking 'round with all this rage?
Just leave me the hell alone and get off my fuc-
(Guitar Riff bridges to Verse 2)
(Me) Okay, deep breaths, let's just try to analyze
That guy she's with is Gary, he's got lazy eyes!
He's telling her a dad joke, Trisha's faking a grin
This is the perfect moment for you to just slide in!
(Jamie) Slide in? You think this is some kind of game to you?
Look at them! She just touched his arm! What am I supposed to do?
He probably said something nasty, something 'bout my past!
I oughta walk right over there and kick his stupid a-
(Chorus)
(Me) Jamie, please! You're gonna blow this whole sheba-
(Jamie - shouting over me) I don't need your help! I don't need your advice today!
Everyone is staring, whispering my name in fright!
I'm not paranoid, you're just a stupid son-of-a-bi-
(Me) SERIOUSLY! No one is talking about you!
(Jamie) Shut your mouth! Before I break your face in two!
You think it's easy? Walking 'round with all this rage?
Just leave me the hell alone and get off my fuc-
(Bridge)
(Me) Jamie... friend... I'm on your side, I swear it's true
I just want to see you happy, and I know that Trisha's into you.
All you have to do is breathe and count back from ten...
(Jamie) (Takes a deep breath, seems to be calming down)
Okay... okay... maybe you're right... but then...
(Her eyes narrow, she points across the bar)
Did you see that? The way that bartender just looked at me?
She thinks I'm some kind of joke, a pathetic wannabe!
I'll show that cu-
(Epic, angry Guitar Solo erupts) (Think Jack White losing his mind on the fretboard)
(Chorus)
(Me - Shouting to be heard over the music) JAMIE, FOR THE LOVE OF-
(Jamie - at full screaming power)
I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE TODAY!
EVERYONE IS STARING, WHISPERING MY NAME IN FRIGHT!
I'M NOT PARANOID, YOU'RE JUST A STUPID SON-OF-A-BI
(Me) YOU'RE BEING A COMPLETE-
(Jamie) SHUT YOUR MOUTH! OR YOU'LL BE WISHING YOU WERE DEAD!
YOU THINK IT'S EASY? WALKING 'ROUND WITH ALL THIS RAGE?
JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE AND GET OFF MY FUC-
(Outro)
