(Intro) (A slow, stumbling banjo roll. A few notes are slid into with a sharp, dissonant whine. The singer spits loudly.) "Right. It's the big day. Let's see if I remember the words to that one the preacher used to holler..." (Verse 1) Hark the herald... somethin' rings, I just want some... shiny things. Peace on earth and... mercy mild? Tell that to the... feral child. Joyful all ye... scavs arise, Rub the grit from... out your eyes. With the heavenly... pack we'll roam, Lookin' for a... place called home. (Chorus) (Singer tries to hit a high note and his voice cracks painfully) G-G-GORY! TO THE NEWBORN... SCRAP! PASS THE SHINE AND... SHUT YOUR TRAP! (Banjo rolls become slightly more frantic and messy) (Verse 2) Silent night... (coughs)... quiet night, Ain't no Diesel-Dogs... in sight. Round yon virgin... (chuckles)... yeah, right, Sleep in heavenly... armored might. Sleep in heavenly... (Banjo stops abruptly. Sound of a bottle being uncapped and a long swig taken.) "Ugh. Tastes like copper. Where was I?" (Verse 3) We three kings of... Dry Valley are, Bearing gifts we... stole from a car. Field and fountain... moor and mountain, Drinkin' from a... rust-pipe fountain. Ooh-ooh... star of wonder... star of light, Wait, that's just a... searchlight, right? Guide us to the... pallet pile, Let's just sit and... stay a while. (Chorus) GORY! TO THE NEWBORN... SCRAP! WATCH THE RADIATOR... SNAP! (Stomp-stomp-stomp on a wooden box) (Outro) (The banjo playing slows down to a single, repetitive thrumming note. The singer's voice drops to a low, sleepy mumble.) "And a partridge in a... in a... dead gum tree." "Merry Christmas, ya drongos." "Dazza... is that my boots you're wearin'?" (The song ends with the sound of the banjo being set down on the gravel and the fire crackling into silence.)