[Intro – Spoken softly]
Yeah…
Sometimes I wonder if I’m talkin’ to God… or just echoes in my head.
But I keep searchin’.
I keep searchin’…
[Verse 1]
I been searchin’ for myself, diggin’ deeper than the surface,
Call me inquisitive, I treat my thoughts like they got purpose.
Contemplative, I meditate in silence with a pen,
Lookin’ inward like a researcher, again and again.
They say the truth is out there — nah, it’s buried in your chest,
Behind the pain, the shame, and every time you second-guess.
I'm a walking contradiction, part believer, part agnostic,
Heart full of questions, mind skeptical, logic’s caustic.
I ask, "God, if you're real, why you let that happen?"
Why the good die young, while the wicked keep laughin'?
Is it tests? Is it fate? Is this life just a riddle?
I'm stuck playin' chess with the devil in the middle.
I’m not wishy-washy, just wounded and worn,
I’m diffident, self-effacing, feelin’ spiritually torn.
They want bold faith, but I got doubts that won’t sleep,
Even Jesus cried out loud with wounds that cut deep.
[Chorus – Melodic hook]
I’ve been searchin’ for myself, tryin’ to find my way,
Fightin’ demons in the mirror, prayin’ every day.
Questionin’ the purpose, the pain, and my health,
Lookin’ up, lookin’ in, just searchin’ for myself.
Yeah, I’m searchin’…
I’m searchin’ for myself.
Tryin’ to find God in a world that’s hell.
Yeah, I’m searchin’…
[Verse 2]
They call it soul-searchin’, but what if the soul’s missin’?
What if all these prayers just echo — no one’s listenin’?
I’m self-distrustful, meek, and unconfident,
But still driven by a flame that don’t make no sense.
Some nights, I’m pensive, trapped inside these thoughts,
Feelin’ alienated, like a puzzle piece lost.
This ain’t no crisis — it’s a constant investigation,
Life’s the crime scene, I’m the detective of creation.
Sometimes I envy people who just know what they believe,
While I’m ambivalent, confused, starin’ up at the leaves.
Is it science? Is it spirit? Or some mix we never learned?
Why’s the truth always buried where the innocent burn?
I'm contemplatin’, questionin’, holdin’ pain like a sculpture,
Feelin’ purposeless but still grippin’ hope like a vulture.
Is that faith? Is that fear? Is it trauma from my youth?
I just want a sign… or a sliver of the truth.
[Chorus – Melodic hook, intensified vocals]
I’ve been searchin’ for myself, tryin’ to find my way,
Fightin’ demons in the mirror, prayin’ every day.
Questionin’ the purpose, the pain, and my health,
Lookin’ up, lookin’ in, just searchin’ for myself.
Yeah, I’m searchin’…
I’m searchin’ for myself.
Tryin’ to find God in a world that’s hell.
Yeah, I’m searchin’…
[Bridge – Spoken/Whispered in rhythm]
Is it wrong to question?
Is it wrong to doubt?
If You made me curious…
Why You scared when I shout?
I’m not tryin’ to defy, I’m just tryin’ to understand,
Why a loving God would create a world like this
