[Intro ] (Cello: long sustained root notes - D - A, very soft, pp–p; arco or soft pizz) (Violin: bigger harmonic swell than before, softly rising, entering on last 4 bars with held A) [Verse 1] I can’t explain the weight I carry every day, My haunted past’s on a loop, I can’t keep it away. When the world shuts down and drifts into sleep, My darkness wakes, and silence speaks. How many nights I’ve laid in bed, With thoughts that say I’d be better dead. Cold-cut steel pressed on my neck, Standing on that edge, My body locks, my muscles tense, Until I’m scared stiff. My heart beats wild against my chest, All I feel is pain. Every shadow from my past Is driving me insane. [Chorus ] They say it’s okay for men to cry, That loop comes back, so I ask why. "Dear God, why me?" ten thousand times, Racing thoughts make me lose my lines. [Verse 2] I can’t move on until I face The demons living in this place. They visit nightly, won’t explain, Just knock again inside my brain. Don’t judge me yet, don’t turn your back, Until you know the full-grown facts. The men I trusted crossed the line, Said this was “acting,” said I’d be fine. Sixteen years old, “a future star,” They said I’d make it, said I’d go far. When it went wrong, I learned too fast, Approval never lasts. Dreams crushed down — not childish toys, Too much weight for growing boys. Too much pressure, far too young, Not good for men, not good for sons. [Chorus ] They say it’s okay for men to cry, That loop comes back, so I ask why. "Dear God, why me?" ten thousand times, Racing thoughts make me lose my lines. [Bridge ] I’ve been to hell in real life skin, Not just the noise inside my head. Sometimes I wish they never came, And pulled me back — I stayed dead. Now you’re caught inside my loop, Anger sour, pain uncooked. You can’t feel it, can’t see through, What you read’s just surface truth. I know it’s past, I know it’s old, But I don’t choose what still holds. A million memories crowd my head, I can’t hear myself instead. [Final Chorus / Outro ] What’s to lose but shock and sorrow? Give me hope — not all tomorrow Has to feel like this again. (Cello and Violin outro: bigger violin solo echoing intro melody with soft passionate vibrato, drawing deeply on pain and longing, slowly fading out, unresolved to leave emotional space.)