š¤ Intro (Announcer Voice):
šļø "Ladies and Gentlemen⦠make some noise... for⦠COBI THEE RAPPER!"
š„ Air horns, stadium crowd roaring
---
š¶ Chorus (Sung, Catchy):
"Wise up like Pep Guardiola
Weather too cold like Cole Palmer
Bruno Fernandes save me from losing
Top class Mohammed Salah
Really good like Bukayo Saka
MbappƩ the speedster
Vini the true star
Young and top class like Lamine Yamal,
Donāt forget to mention the G.O.A.Tsā
CRISTIANO RONALDO
LIONEL MESSI!"
---
Verse 1 ā Dave (w/ swagger & wordplay):
Yeah, I ball like Haaland, cold like Norway,
Slide like Shaw, Old Trafford on a match day.
Mind like Ten Hag, vision like Ćzil,
Rashford cooking, that boy got a griddle.
Casemiro solid, brick wall livinā
MartĆnez? Madman, butcher still grinninā.
Dalot with the overlaps, smooth on the line,
Sanchoās got tekkers, he just need time.
Mount in the middle with some cobweb flair,
Like Maguire in the box when he donāt lose air (š).
Antony spins like Beyblades wild,
But Iām drippinā like Pogba, the vintage style.
---
š¶ Chorus
(Repeat)
---
Verse 2 ā Central Cee (bouncy flow):
Left foot sweet like Robbie Fowler
Foden flex, not no growler
Goalie strong like Alisson
Tackle hard like Robertson
United boys, letās list them quick,
Speedinā through like a F1 clickā
Onana stop that, reflex instant
Shaw cross pin-point, long-range distant
Dalot dashin', Lindelƶf lurkin'
Amrabat tacklin', scorinā, workin'
Varane composed like jazz in a bar
Evans still playin'? Mad that he are (š)
Mainoo movinā like he born elite
Pellistri sprintinā with fire feet
Garnacho rise like sun at dawn
Even HĆøjlund built like a Norse god sworn!
---
Verse 3 ā Dax (intense emotional wordplay):
This football lifeās like chess with a lionās pride,
Messi on the field, you feel the vibe.
Ronaldo jump, 38 inches vertical,
Headers divine, manās goals aināt surgicalā
They celestial, I confess to yāall,
Mendy fumbled like Wi-Fi calls.
I rhyme 'bout Lewandowski technique,
Precision like a sniper, elite and sleek.
Bellingham, young, wise like monks,
Kai Havertz still looking for his trunks (š).
De Bruyne got vision from Mars,
Every assist be painting stars.
No VAR on this flow, itās fact,
Like Dax, I'm sharpāgo Google that.
---
š¶ Chorus (Louder, with claps and beat switch-up)
(Repeat)
---
Verse 4 ā Eminem (Rapid-fire, speed rap, listing all Man United players)
Yo!
Onana on the line like lightning strikeinā at the vine,
Shaw and Dalot on the wings, synchronizinā like a spine,
Evans still breathin', Maguire still tryinā,
Varane with the calm like a samurai mind.
Lindelƶf solid, no glitch in the frame,
MartĆnez butcher, he cut through the game!
Amrabat cleanin', Mount redeemin',
Mainoo young but already gleaminā.
Bruno my shooter, finesse in the dark,
Hannibal cominā like a dog that barkā
Garnacho flip it, Pellistri zip it,
Antony spin till defenders quit it.
Sancho with ice, Rashford with flame,
HĆøjlund big frame, Thor in the game.
Even Mejbri wildinā, Kambw