[INTRO] FEMALE: Baby… what I want tonight? MALE: Pizza? FEMALE: No. MALE: Chinese? FEMALE: Oh, boy… --- [VERSE 1 — MALE] She wore that little black dress, Said, "Tonight, I'm feeling bold." She dimmed the lights and locked the door, I said, "Great! We're saving gold!" FEMALE: I poured the wine, I pulled him near, Whispered softly in his ear: "Baby, I want you all night long…" MALE: She must mean Netflix. I picked our favorite show! FEMALE: Oh, no… --- [PRE-CHORUS — FEMALE] Candles lit, the music low, Satin sheets and perfume glow. I give him that come-hither stare— MALE: Honey, why'd you fix your hair? FEMALE: I GIVE UP! --- [CHORUS — BOTH] BOTH: Did you really just say that? How'd you get it wrong? I'm throwing hints all over you, You're singing a different song! FEMALE: I want you! MALE: Want the lawn? FEMALE: Come upstairs! MALE: Something wrong? FEMALE: I'm feeling frisky! MALE: Must be something you ate! FEMALE: Baby, come to bed! MALE: Sure! What time do we wake? BOTH: Did you really just say that? Marriage is a funny thing! --- [VERSE 2 — FEMALE] I put on our favorite song, Danced around him all night long. I said, "Come closer, don't be shy…" MALE: I said, "Sure! The couch is dry!" FEMALE: I said, "Turn the lights down low." MALE: Must be saving on the glow! FEMALE: I said, "Put your phone away." MALE: You don't want me ordering takeout? FEMALE: I SAID I WANT YOU! MALE: Oh… FEMALE: YES! MALE: For what? FEMALE: I need a drink. --- [CHORUS — BOTH] Did you really just say that? How'd you get it wrong? I'm throwing hints all over you, You're singing a different song! FEMALE: I give you "the look!" MALE: You look beautiful! FEMALE: That's not what I mean! MALE: Still a compliment! FEMALE: I'm trying to turn you on! MALE: The thermostat is on! FEMALE: I married an idiot! MALE: Love you too! --- [BRIDGE — RAP / TALK] FEMALE: Close the bedroom door. MALE: Okay! FEMALE: Lock it. MALE: Okay! FEMALE: Come here. MALE: Okay! FEMALE: Stop asking questions! MALE: Okay! FEMALE: Do you understand? MALE: Understand what? FEMALE: OH, COME ON! MALE: Want the ceiling fan? FEMALE: I'M GOING TO BED! MALE: Okay! FEMALE: ALONE! MALE: Okay! FEMALE: …Unless you figure it out. MALE: Figure what out? FEMALE: GOODNIGHT! --- [FINAL CHORUS — BIG] FEMALE: I want romance! MALE: I'll buy you flowers! FEMALE: I want you tonight! MALE: How 'bout happy hour? FEMALE: I'm feeling frisky! MALE: Must be something you ate! FEMALE: Baby, come to bed! MALE: What time do we wake? BOTH: Did you really just say that? How'd you get it wrong? She's throwing hints all over him, He's singing a different song! FEMALE: I want YOU! MALE: I know! FEMALE: You do?! MALE: Yep! FEMALE: Then come here! MALE: Sure! …Can I bring my phone? FEMALE: OH, MY GOD! --- [OUTRO] FEMALE: Baby… MALE: Yeah? FEMALE: I want you. MALE: I know. FEMALE: You finally know?! MALE: Yep. FEMALE: Well?! MALE: You want the Wi-Fi password. FEMALE: …Goodnight. MALE: Love you! FEMALE: That's the problem! BOTH: HAHAHAHA! [BIG POP END]