Morning hits cold, ice water on my face. Another day before the sun decides to wake. I lace my boots with cracked hands, and the house still smells like yesterday.
I’m twelve years old with a bus to catch, five miles waiting at home for scraps. A dented pot, a patchwork plan, boy turned man cause he had to stand. My head marked up from the fights I took, the scars keep time better than any clock. I learned to walk that long way home with hunger, chewing through the thoughts.
Breath keep time like a clock wound down, I move quiet so the house can sleep. I learned to carry the silence, put it in my coat and wear it thin. I learned to carry the silence, keep the light from caving in.
I learned to carry the silence, keep the mornings for the kids. I learned to carry the silence, fold it up and hide what I did.
That afternoon I fought the man who raised his hand, my siblings toddlers and I took a stand. We drove away, my friends and me, caught in the alley where we shouldn′t be. They shattered the bottles, the windows fell, glass in the air like a ringing bell.
Got my brother out but I stayed behind, paid the price to keep them fine. Laid on the ground, head split in three, blood in my hands but still I could see the house light fading. Thought I might die but I chose to live for them that night.
There are nights I measure lost by the sound of the wheels on stone. I′ve given all I had to give, still the quiet cuts to the bone.
I remember the laughter through static and smoke, the promises made when we were broke. Regret is a coin I keep in turn, cold in my palm, too heavy to burn.
At thirty I left halfway across the land, a truck, a flag, a plan in hand. Raised it high in the wind that year for all the ones who couldn′t be here. Built for the kids, the lost, the gone. Kept the faith that drives me on each mile of prayer, each town of ghosts. I gave my all when it mattered most.
I learned to carry the silence, put it in my coat and wear it thin. I learned to carry the silence, keep the light from caving in. I learned to carry the silence for the boys who never did.
I learned to carry the silence for the love I couldn′t win.
Here′s to the boys in grown men′s coats, sleeves dragged and frayed. One small mercy at a time, one plane repair one day. If I′m still here when the dawn rolls in, I′ll carry the silence and start again.
