(Intro) (A frantic, 10-second banjo roll in Open G. A boot starts stomping a heavy, fast 4/4 beat. A voice shouts out:) "OI! Put down the crossbow, Dazza! It’s the twenty-fifth! Give us a tune!" (Verse 1) The mercury is hittin’ fifty, the flies are havin’ a ball, We’ve stacked up seven bald tyres to make a tree against the wall! There ain't no tinsel in the scrub, so we used some razor wire, And we’re roastin’ a mutant goanna o'er a toxic-barrel fire! Paco’s found a crate of grog that’s only half-expired, The radiator’s leakin’ but the boys are gettin’ fired! We ain't got no stockings, so we hung some oily rags, Waitin' for a Santa-Man to bring us fuel and fags! (Chorus) OH! IT'S A DIESEL-DOGGY CHRISTMAS IN THE VALLEY OF THE BONE! WE’RE SINGIN' TO THE VULTURES ON THE RADIATED THRONE! JINGLE BELLS ARE CLANKIN' ON THE BULL-BAR OF THE UTE, IF YOU SEE THE FAT MAN COMIN', MATE... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SHOOT! (Verse 2) Bethy got a spark-plug, and she’s weepin’ with the joy, Scaredy found a tin of peaches for the lucky birthday boy! We don't need no reindeer flyin' high across the stars, We got three-hundred horses in these stripped-down pursuit cars! The "Star of Bethlehem" is just a flare-gun in the night, Warnin' all the Red-Eyes that we're lookin' for a fight! So pass around the moonshine and forget about the thirst, Merry Christmas, ya bastards... let's see who passes out first! (Chorus) OH! IT'S A DIESEL-DOGGY CHRISTMAS IN THE VALLEY OF THE BONE! WE’RE SINGIN' TO THE VULTURES ON THE RADIATED THRONE! JINGLE BELLS ARE CLANKIN' ON THE BULL-BAR OF THE UTE, IF YOU SEE THE FAT MAN COMIN', MATE... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SHOOT! (Bridge) (The banjo slows down to a rhythmic, dark "Clawhammer" strum. The voices drop to a conspiratorial whisper.) "They say in the old world... it used to snow. Ice fallin' from the sky like white ash. Heh. Sounds like a nightmare, don't it? I'll take the dust. I'll take the rust. At least you can see 'em comin' in the dust." (Outro) (The banjo explodes into its fastest roll yet. Complete rowdy chaos.) "STOMP IT OUT!" "MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS!" "WHO TOOK MY HAMMER?!" (The song ends with a final, loud banjo "twang" and the sound of a celebratory shotgun blast.)